Valduggery vs Valguine
by Lucilia Venom
Summary: Skulduggery is going to propose to Valkyrie. But with so many trials, will love prevail? With people going missing left, right and centre, what happens when Sanguine, Dusk and the Remnant that escaped from Tanith are all thrown into proportion? And of course, we can't forget to mention their evil scheme with a love potion and hypnotic eyes. Will Valduggery defeat Valguine?
1. The Proposal

**The Proposal/Fun Coupley Stuff**

**Hey it's me again. This ends with a cliffy, as a lot of my chapters tend to. This will probably be a six-part story. Oh, and guess what!**

**I'm a centaur version of Spiderman, disguised as an evil pack of dominoes that eats mouldy bread with sour butter. I hate the smurfs, I love watching Scooby-doo and I'm obsessed with Skulduggery Pleasant and organic cooking sauce.**

**Now, say that really fast, add a hala at the end and ****BOOM** **that's my rap.**

**By the way, Skulduggery has a full body façade in this.**

**This chapter is for my bffleaeaeaeaeae (best friend for like ever and ever and ever and ever and ever) Amber Cut-Throat.**

**Spider-man never fails slush-puppies with extra ice and stinging nettles ~ Lucilia Venom, the organic cooking sauce lover.**

Part One: The Proposal

_This is it _Skulduggery thought. He was taking Valkyrie Cain, now a twenty-two year old woman, to his mountain lodge in California. Well, granted that the mountain lodge was on a beach, not a mountain, and was actually a beach cabin, mountain lodge just sounded so much more romantic. And, after all, today was the day he was going to propose to Valkyrie, so he needed it to be as romantic as possible.

_What shall I say? When should I say it? Where should I say it? Will she say yes? What will happen if she says no? Will she like the ring?_

The questions rampaged through his mind so fast, he barely even had time to register them before they went, leaving more unanswerable questions in their wake.

They passed so fast that he eventually stopped thinking them and just concentrated on driving.

_**3 days later**_

Valkyrie looked at the skeleton before her, who was on his knees and had just produced a small, black box. Her stomach did flips and her heart likewise.

_OH. My. God._ She thought, over and over, until the words stopped having meaning and disappeared.

He opened the box, revealing a gorgeous ring, nestled in deep, red velvet. It was amazing, shining silver, with an extravagant sea-green emerald sitting in the middle of two dark purple gems.

Skulduggery cleared his throat, for no reason whatsoever.

"Valkyrie Cain," He started, "You have been my friend, work partner and accomplice for ten years. You were there for me through the hard times and you enjoyed with me the good times, like any amazing friend should. But if only you knew how much more you meant to me. How much it tore me up inside whenever you got hurt. How much you make me, a dead man, feel closer to life and happiness for a long time. I positively adore and thought it was time you know. So will you, Valkyrie Cain, marry me, Skulduggery Pleasant?"

Valkyrie leapt on him, squealing, "Yes, yes, a million times yes!"

He laughed and kissed her with his facade lips.

"Well that's good, because otherwise my awesome speech would be for nothing. Now, come on, let's go do some funcoupleystuff.

"Yay," Valkyrie echoed "Funcoupleystuff."#

**Part 2: Funcoupleystuff!**

"OY!" Valkyrie yelled, as Skulduggery hit her over the head with a pool noodle.

"What?" He asked, putting on his best _I'msoinnocent, Ididn'tdoanything _face.

"You know what you did." Valkyrie mock-hissed in accusation. "And now it's time for my revenge!"

Valkyrie had recently experienced the surge, one year ago to be exact, and had chosen elemental magic, so Skulduggery prepared to dodge a wall of air that was sure to come his way and knock him into the pool. He had managed to go all day without getting his facade hair wet, he wasn't going to start now.

He laughed at Valkyries pathetic wall of air, before realising it was a feint, and looked up just in time to have a massive puddle of water land on his face, like he had just been hit with the world's largest water balloon.

"Dammit!" He yelled, getting some weird looks from other occupants of the beach.

Valkyrie was so busy laughing herself silly, that she didn't notice him come gliding under the water to her until it was too late, and he pulled her legs from under her.

"Hey!" She yelled when she resurfaced, but Skulduggery wasn't there. She called for him and still he didn't come. She even went back up to the beach cabin, but still he wasn't there. There was only one explanation.

Skulduggery was gone.


	2. Missing

**Missing**

**Hey, guys, guess what? Betty Bob and the Brain-Stabbers are invading and they're gonna stab your brains and overtake you! Wait... that wasn t it. What was it? OH, YEAH! Now I remember. You guys get a DOUBLE UPDATE! HELL YEAH!**

**Spider-man never fails, slush- puppies with extra ice and stinging nettles ~ Lucilia Venom, the organic cooking sauce lover.**

It had been four years since Skulduggery had _left_. That was what the Sanctuary had said anyway. But Valkyrie knew better. Well, for the first year she thought she knew better, but now she knew better. **(A/N Confused yet?) **

It was obvious that Skulduggery had left because he was regretting the decision of proposing to her. It broke her heart to think that but there was no other explanation.

And, then she was crying, the tears flowing freely from her face onto the pillow, her thin form shaking.

After Skulduggery had up and went she was slowly wasting away to nothing, and the worst thing was that she didn't care. She had basically lost all will to go on.

Suddenly, she heard a noise coming from the slightly ajar window. It sounded like a stifled gasp. She smiled for the first time in years as she saw a gloved hand quickly disappear from the window pane.

She ran outside quickly and frowned, hurriedly getting into a fighting stance.

_**Skulduggery pov**_

He did his best to come and see her whenever he could. For the first couple of months, she was rarely at home, and for the following she stayed in the whole time. She even got the shopping delivered!

But, alas, he hadn't seen her in 2 years, 11 months and 3 weeks, and what he did see made him distraught. He tried to stifle a gasp, but couldn't quite manage.

_OH HELL _he thought as Valkyrie turned around to face the window.

_**Valkyrie pov**_

Valkyrie faced the mysterious man in her garden. He was rather handsome, with jet black hair, and glittering, emerald-green eyes. He looked very muscular and strong, there was no way she had even a chance of overpowering him.

Then she realised who it was. Kind of obvious now that she thought about it. The man had the same hat as him. The man had the same shoes as him. The man had the same dark blue pinstripe suit as him. The man had the same gloves as him.

She became light-headed as she realised who this was, and the last she registered was the man dart over to catch her, and then everything went black as her head made contact with the ground.

_**General Pov**_

Valkyrie awoke to the sound of a smooth, velvety, male voice talking to a female voice. She opened her eyes and saw her best-friend, Tanith Low, talking to someone, and when she glimpsed who the memories flooded back, hitting her like a brick, causing her to breathe in quickly as she remembered.

The man, upon hearing her sharp intake of breath, spun on his heel to look at her.

"Valkyrie." He said in a voice that could only belong to him, to Skulduggery Pleasant.

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie replied, voice devoid of any emotion. "You finally decided to make an appearance.

"Valkyrie, please," He started to apologise, but stopped when he realised that she was pretending to be deaf. "Please, Val, listen to me."

"Why should I?" She snapped, "There's nothing to tell. You left because you didn't want to marry me. That's fine, grand even."

As soon as Valkyrie finished saying this, she broke down, sobbing. The man, Skulduggery, ran over to comfort her, and she ended up curled up into his shirt, heavy gasps raking across her body.

"Don't leave," She said, in between gasps, "Don't you ever leave me again."

"I won't," He said, soothingly rubbing circles on her back. "I promise."


End file.
